I could never be a morning DJ because:



1. I can't wake up at 4 AM

2. I can't laugh on command

3. My IQ is three digits

4. I don't care what celebrities are doing

5. I don't think prank phone calls are a form of humor

6. I'm genuinely interested in music

7. Chatter is never pleasant and will eventually destroy civilization

8. I do have some self-respect

9. I realize nobody's interested in the details of my personal life except, sometimes, me

10. Wild and crazy DJs never are

11. Playlists and song requests are irrelevant (see #6)



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